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| I've moveeeed to tumblr! Thank you everyone on xanga for supporting my site thus far, I love you all. Please followed or RSS me if you liked what you saw on ephemeral pleasure
http://venae-cavae.tumblr.com
http://venae-cavae.tumblr.com
http://venae-cavaetumblr.com | | |
| Where on earth can one find a blogging site with the same community spirit as Xanga, but also the ability to post Google Adsense ads? ¤sigh¤ Not quite sure what to do because I need to take a new direction with my blogging...and make money at the same time. Any ideas? I will keep up with xanga photos and photography, but I will do the other blog on the sideline.
I will post updates again as soon as I'm back from Kwa Zulu Natal.
Love. | | |
| What a terrible day. My psychotic ex showed up at my SCHOOL and was gayly walking around with his massive DOG on a leash. Passed literally within two inches of me, wordlessly. I was literally shaking with fear, and ended up spending the whole of break in the corner of a classroom. What game he's playing now, I do not know.
Also, seriously battling with the whole driving thing.:(
Now, I plan on lying on the couch, watching tv, and eating cake. Who's keen to join?!
I’m standing in the place we first said goodbye. I don’t know why, I so relied on you for my smile. I laid happiness in your hands and I don’t really understand
Every time you swallow, do you get a taste of what you've become?
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Berthold Auerbach
Bathroom stalls and backseats. Roadside motels is where they'll meet. Will they ever learn, ever learn? Clothes hit the floor before you blink. Her naked heart begins to sink. Forget her name with one more drink. Will they ever learn?
You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was just good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life. But you didn't love her, because you don't destroy people you love.
The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.
She said, "no one is alone the way you are alone". And you held her looser than you would have, if you ever could have known some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure.
I am letting the telephone ring because I don't want to know why. I don't want to hear you explain. I don't want to hear you cry. I have written so much about you, so much I thought I knew.
You can make all the right moves and sometimes still lose.
So do we pass the ghosts that haunt us later in our lives? They sit undramatically by the roadside like poor beggars, and we see them only from the corners of our eyes, if we see them at all. The idea that they have been waiting there for us rarely, if ever, crosses our minds. Yet they do wait and when we have passed, they gather up their bundles of memory and fall in behind, treading in our footsteps and catching up, little by little. | | |
| Putting off Afrikaans. Blogging instead and getting boy to come visit because I am cool.
Also, couldn't sleep last night because I was raging whenever I thought about my 'friend'. I can't believe it has taken me 5 years to realize that she's a compulsive liar and SO insecure. I will give you an example of her compulsive lying - she constantly pretends to answer the phone in order to make out as though she's talking to people who want to go out with her. She also lied about having sex many times.
Which is actually preeetty funny and immature - but now she made a fake document to send into university, making the dumb-ass out to actually be clever. Because she wants to do the same course as me....at the same university, and she knows she won't get into medicine unless she has A's.
Fuck. If I have to spend the rest of university in her presence, I will honestly just tell her to go sort out her insecurity.
Anyone else have poisonous friendships? I feel as though her poison has sapped everything from me.
Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts.
And you taught me what this feels like, and then how it feels to lose it, and you showed me who I wanted, and then who I wasn't, and you ticked every box, and then drew a line, and you weren't mine to begin with, and then not to end with, and you looked like everything I wanted, and then became something I hated, and you get thought of every day, and then not in a good way, and you let me leave. And then wish I'd stayed.
What a terrible mistake to let go of something wonderful for something real.
Two persons cannot be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings - Jean de la Bruyere
Love is a behavior, not a feeling. It's the way somebody treats you, everyday, all day. Not just when their life is going well.
There were ocean waves, big city lights, lazy summer days, crazy sleepless nights. Somewhere out on an open road, we drove ourselves out of our minds. Sometimes to do the things you love, you leave the ones you love behind.
Never have I felt a colder July when you shrugged off my emotions, and told me they were all lies.
Tiny buttercup won’t you take my hand. Tiny buttercup when you’re feeling sad. When life doesn’t go according to plan, close our eyes, take each other’s hands in a world filled with shades of grey. We’ll colour it up and escape to our perfect place.
I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other. - The Perks of Being a Wallflower
My whole life I have been bending over backwards to protect your feelings and you know what? It's not my fault you’re so insecure. I'm just tired of trying to hold myself back so I don't outshine you. - Gossip Girl | | |
| Made my sister an epic dvd for her sixteenth birthday. Hope the kiddo enjoys it!
Still medicine or law...aaarghhh. One shouldn't need to make important decisions in high school.
On the ferris wheel, looking out on Coney island, under more stars than there are prostitutes in Thailand. Our hair in the air, our lips blue from cotton candy. When we kiss it feels like a flying saucer landing. And I can't sleep, cause you got strange powers. You’re in my dreams, strange powers.
People that are too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.
I could lose myself in you without feeling lost, let myself go without worrying if I’d find my way back. When your mouth closed over mine, tasting both my surrender and demand, that was all you needed.
I miss the sound of your voice. I miss the rush of your skin. I miss the still of the silence as you breathe out and I breathe in
And I wonder if you wonder or did your stars finally explode? Did the thunder pull you underneath the haze? I'm amazed, then I let go. Little minds let little games burn big old dreams with little flames. And you don't think I understand. Little holes in parachutes won't leave you falling, if they do, it's because you want to land.
I'm half asleep and I'm half alive. I cant get this mind of mine off home. My life seems so far away, we aint those kids that yesterday thought we'd take this world of ours by storm.
Whatever flaws you have, people are going to notice them. Whatever strengths you have, you're going to need them.
Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.
So I thought I’d let you know it was beautiful slow dancing to tunes of Billie Holiday. The city looked wonderful that way. And love just like blood will always stain
I didn't lose a friend cause you never were one. But you on the other hand did. | | |
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